Will I ever learn?
I recently told a friend about how great I thought things were going with the man I am currently dating. She asked, "did he tell you yet that he loves you?" To which I replied "no, but I'm pretty sure he does." I also told said friend that I would never say "I love you" first. This is because when I was dating the man who later became my second husband, I blurted out the "L" phrase during sex, and he gave me a look that was akin to someone being told he's about to have a root canal sans novocaine. I was utterly humiliated. Now, with regard to the current man in my life, I'm sure you're familiar with the old adage "when you assume, you make an ass of u and me". Say hello to a BIG ass......

Scenario: I was snuggling in bed with the aforementioned "new" man, after an awesome sex session. (I won't call it lovemaking, the reason for which will soon be apparent). I proceeded to mention the fact that we had been dating for a month. He stated that it seemed like longer (in a good way). I thanked him again for the wonderful time I had had the previous day celebrating my birthday. Then in what must have been the result of hypoxia caused by residual genital engorgement, I said "there is one thing I had hoped to get for my birthday...well, not really a thing, more like a thought". Now, this is a man with a genius level IQ, so I'm certain he knew what I wanted him to say. Silence ensued. Then, more silence. I soon felt as though I were trying to fish in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with nothing but hip waders and a bamboo pole....during a monsoon....

Epilogue: Driving home later that morning, I attempted to sort out my feelings, and why I had broached a subject I swore I wouldn't. Normally, I wouldn't expect a declaration of love so soon in a relationship. The reason for my haste seemed to involve my too-detailed knowledge of his past relationships. Mr. Snuggles is a writer, and I have read (knowing full well that I shouldn't) a few pieces he has written about two of his most recent girlfriends. Through his writing, it is obvious that both of these women are quite beautiful, and that he fell in love with them very quickly. In fact, he asked the last woman he dated to marry him after only knowing her for four weeks. The wedding was planned, but did not take place. The relationship ended in November of last year, not much more than a month before we met. Former fiancee, whom he describes in his writing as incredibly beautiful, intelligent, and passionate, (she also happens to be VERY wealthy) , did provoke some insecurity in me for a brief time, but I thought I had moved beyond that. Now, I realize that I thought if he didn't "fall" for me as quickly as he had these women from his past, that it must mean that I don't posess whatever those women have to ignite such passion in him. Regardless of whether this is or isn't the case, I should know better than to let "ghosts" from the past haunt me, or to compare myself with others. I may not be gorgeous, but I have much to offer to the right man. I hope my faux pas (to put it mildly), does not deter this wonderful man who has treated me with utmost respect, consideration, and generosity.......