Timing is Everything....

She looked up from her computer, and, brushing her auburn hair away from her face, turned toward the open door of her office. Her gaze lazily drifted to the room across the hall. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat as she caught the unmistakable spikey brown/blonde hair, then took in the chiseled features, and well-toned shoulders and arms beneath the plum-colored, perfectly pressed shirt. A stethoscope was draped around his slender neck. He was sitting with his back turned slightly away from the door, engrossed in conversation with the nursing supervisor. The adrenaline rush was almost instantaneous. It was like this every time she saw him; nervousness, joy, excitement, fear, all jumbled together, making her feel as if she were a teenager again. So, her heart pounding, hands shaky, she slid her tall, slender frame through her office door, praying he wouldn't notice her, and headed for the conference room. "Coffee", she thought, thinking it ironic she would crave caffeine in her current heightened physical state. She poured the hot liquid into her cup, and willed her hands to stop shaking, and her breathing to slow down. "Damn him, for having such an effect on me", she thought as she attempted to take a sip, steeling herself for a possible encounter with him.

Their first meeting had been here, in this room, more than a year earlier. She was a newly hired RN Case Manager, and was sitting in on a meeting that was held monthly that included all management personnel, and the three physicians on staff. She was seated at the long conference table, her back to the door. Then, HE entered the room. She knew he was the assistant medical director of the facility, although they had never met. He took the seat directly across from her, and she was introduced to him by the Director of Nursing. She couldn't help but notice how attractive he was, and not just in the physical sense, but he had an air of confidence, an easy smile, and a certain "presence" she found very disarming.

From that point on, hard as she tried, she could not put him out of her mind. She was married, after all, and shouldn't be having such thoughts about another man. Her marriage was already in serious trouble, and her preoccupation with the handsome doctor was not helping her focus on her marital problems.

But, he was amazingly intelligent, perceptive, and kind. He was so many things that her husband was not; funny, charming, a sharp dresser, well groomed, interesting, and wordly-wise. A potent combination of things impossible for her to resist.

It wasn't until several months later, in December, that things began to "heat up", between them. She had plans to go out with some friends from work, one of whom was known for his womanizing behavior. The doctor seemed concerned about her going out with this man, maybe even jealous? A couple of weeks later, the womanizer, who happened to friends with "him", told her that the doctor was very attracted to her, but knew he couldn't get involved with a married woman.

So, their attraction remained, but could not be acted upon. It was frustrating for both. They would occasionally talk on the phone, or at work, and even met one night at a bar, but he couldn't stay long because he had a patient who was in labor. Then, in June, she bought a house, and left her husband. In July, he told her he wanted to go out with her, and they even kissed a couple of times, behind the door of her office. It was tremendously exciting to be so close to him after waiting so long. A mutual friend was determined that a union between the doctor and nurse was "meant to be", and was determined to get the two together. When this friend asked the doctor if he was serious about getting together with her, he replied "it's all I think about". Unfortunately, circumstances once again intervened, and kept the two apart. The doctor had become concerned that he was drinking too much, and began going to AA meetings. He told the mutual friend that, as much as he cared for her, he didn't think it was fair to the nurse to get involved with her while he was struggling with such a serious problem.

Now it was October, and her last day of working at the place where she had met this incredible man that captured her heart. She returned to her office, coffee in hand, and sat at her desk. Moments later, he was at the door, smiling, but looking sad at the same time. She got up and went to him. He told her that "things are kind of rough for me right now", but that he wanted to keep in touch with her. He wished her luck in her new job, gave her a hug, then turned and walked away.

That was the last time she saw him, five months ago....